Deleting Jason

It's been an interesting weekend. I was supposed to be taking some friends on the new boat, but the weather had other plans. Instead, I went to the Sprint store to purchase a new phone. My other one was on its death bed...so it was time to upgrade.

While standing at the counter, the Sprint man said he'd be able to transfer all of my pictures to the new phone. That didn't happen. Only a few of them moved. I lost several pictures of Jason. I didn't realize it until I was already out of the store, though...and by then my old phone had been cleared.

I also didn't realize until after it was all said and done that all my text messages from the old phone would disappear. I lost every single text message from Jason that I'd been holding onto. And yes, before you even ask if I ever read them...I did. I read them when I felt sad. I read them when I wanted to "hear from him". My heart leapt into my throat when I realized they were gone, but there was nothing I could do to get them back... just like him. I had to let them go...just like him.

Tonight, as I'm on the eve of the eve of my trip to Boston and New York, I was wanting to upload some new songs to Jason's iPod which I've now taken possession of. However, thanks to iTunes and iPod's super special security settings... for whatever reason, I can't add songs to the iPod. It kept asking me if I wanted to sync...which would completely erase everything on the iPod and add all of my stuff to it. Of course, I didn't want to do that... there are more than 1700 songs already on there. That includes the amazing "Stuart" playlist Jason created a short time before he died. Once again, I was faced with the question - delete Jason or don't. I didn't in this case. I don't want to let go of the "Stuart" playlist. I just can't. Losing the text messages was enough loss for me this weekend.

So anyway, I'm pretty much packed (a day early) for my trip. I fly to Boston on Tuesday to stay with Jason's parents for a couple days. I'll be visiting Jason, too, of course. Hopefully, the headstone will be put up before Tuesday. On Thursday, I'll make my way to New York to party it up with my childhood best friend, Michael for his birthday. Very much looking forward to that part of the trip.

I'll be sure to take lots of pictures.

Until next time...

Stuart