Feliz Navidad, My Love

Jason loved the holidays.  He loved to put up his Christmas tree, and spend hours decorating it.  He loved to cook for the holidays.  Everything about the holidays made him happy.  Though, like me, he agreed that things got started a bit too early.  He was very particular that holiday things didn't happen until Thanksgiving.

One thing we couldn't control, though, was the music this local radio station played.  Every year, they completely throw out their format and switch to holiday music 24/7.  They, like the commercials and retail stores, always put  out their Christmas stuff waaaaay too early.  But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a thrill from hearing that first bout of holiday music.

One of the songs that we liked to hear initially was Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad".  Hearing it that first time actually made me smile.  Jason, too, I think.  It wasn't until the 20th or 30th time that we heard it - which was usually just a week or two into their new format - that we started getting annoyed.  It became like a game for us.  We'd text each other every time we heard it, and then we began keeping a running tally of how many times it was played.  It was our thing, and it made me smile every time I heard the song (before promptly changing the channel).

Tonight, I had just gotten in the car and started on my way home when I flipped on my afternoon drive radio station.  It's the very station that takes the format dump.  Usually they promote the hell out of it beforehand, but this year, there was no fanfare. Suddenly, I realized that I was listening to Christmas music, but it didn't phase me.  I hummed and sang along as I got on the highway and into traffic.  And then it hit.  "Feliz Navidad" came on.  I immediately started laughing and clapping, and then I did something I hadn't done in a very long time.  I reached for my phone with the intent to text message Jason.  But, before my fingers hit my phone to pick it up, my brain clicked and I realized what I was doing.  I had a complete break down right there in my car while sitting on Interstate 820.

Hearing that song was like a hard, cold slap in the face.  I can't believe I actually reached for my phone to text him.  I don't know where my head was at that moment, and I honestly felt stupid.  That was the first time in a long long time that I even ever thought about doing something like that.  I know I shouldn't punish myself, or get mad when I do things like that.  I'm sure that's going to happen, and I just need to let it.

Anyway, I'm doing better now.  I'm over it.  I won't be able to listen to that song, though...at all this entire season.  If I hear it teased, I will change the channel.  If I hear it come on without warning, I will change the channel faster than you can say Jesus.  I can't do it.  This season is going to be hard enough without adding to it.

Until next time --
Stuart