Hello Medium. I'm Stuart.

I've been giving this subject a lot of thought, and I've finally made a decision and a step forward.  I've decided that I'm going to go see a psychic/medium in hopes that I'll hear from Jason just one last time.  I'm still skeptical of this whole thing, but more than that, I'm extremely hopeful that I will hear from him.  The skeptical side of me just thinks I'll hear from him long enough for him to tell me that I wasted my money.  LOL

One of my best friends went to this woman in Frisco and had an amazing experience.  Shortly after Jason died, she let me listen to the tape she recorded at her session, and I have to say it was pretty amazing.  Whatever I believed before listening to the tape completely went out the window after listening to it.  There were things she said in that session that only Leigh Ann or someone in her family would know.  She talked about LA looking at photos of her grandfather...which she was doing just a few nights before her reading.  It literally sent chills up my spine.

That is the kind of reading I'm hoping for.  I want to know that Jason is still here with me.  I want to know that he's seeing what's going on down here.  I want to know that he saw that I won the Emmy (and I also want to know if he had anything to do with it).  I want to know if he saw that we raised nearly $11,000 in his memory.  But most of all, I need to know that he still loves me.  I need to hear it...just one last time.

I feel like I've done a fairly good job of moving on up to this point.  But lately, I just can't shake the feeling that I want to reach out and hear from him again.  If it's possible, why wouldn't I want to do it?  I'm sure my therapist would jump all over me and condemn my decision to do this...saying something to the effect of "I need to let go" and "I need to realize that Jason's dead and he's not coming back".  Of course I know he's dead and not coming back.  I'm not going into this expecting to actually SEE him.  But, I am going into this hoping to at the very least feel his presence...and hear from him (through her, obviously).  I guess that's how this all started.  I used to phsycially FEEL his presence around me.  I don't feel it anymore.  That's what bothers me.  That's why I want to know that he's still here.

So, December 7th at 6pm...I will be arriving for my reading.  One hour later, I hope to emerge from there with a new-found respect for this gift, and with a new sense of knowing that Jason is still in my life and will always be there.  Here's hoping for the best.

Until next time --
Stuart