I took an unusual day off today - during ratings - to attend a double funeral for my brother's best friends/neighbors. Matt & Erica Rawley died suddenly last weekend from carbon monoxide poisoning while they were out camping. It's such a tragically sad story.
This was also the first funeral I've attended since the funeral/memorial for Jason. I made it almost 9 months between funerals. I had pretty mixed emotions all morning while I was getting ready...wasn't really sure how I would react before, during, and after the service. I knew Matt & Erica pretty well, not as well as Jason obviously, but we'd spent several Thanksgiving and July 4th holidays together. They were practically family.
Walking into the service, my heart started to race. That point when I rounded the corner and saw the room full of people already sitting in the pews...my heart actually leapt into my throat. I was immediately transported back to May 30th - the day of Jason's memorial service...turning the corner and seeing the room packed. Almost lost it then, almost lost it today. We took our seats towards the back, and the service started about 15 minutes later with a song - The Wind Beneath My Wings. Hello tears.
The service was a good mix of sad moments along with joyfully filled bursts of laughter. Matt & Erica were a wonderful couple, very funny...so there was no shortage of hilarious antics and sayings. In all, I'd say the service lasted about an hour which wasn't bad. I cried some, but not as much as I thought I would. I really expected that I would be a basketcase...but luckily that wasn't the case.
I'm not a fan of funerals... who is? But, after Jason's, I never thought I'd want to go to another one. After you've buried the love of your life, why would you ever want to relive that moment? I think I realized today, though, that like grief - every funeral is different...and that is a good thing.
Until next time --
Stuart
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glad to hear you did so well with this. i havent had to do it yet. there was one funeral that i skipped- mostly because it was a young woman my age who died of cancer, and I just wasnt ready for that.
ReplyDeletethe funeral home where we had ricks service is on my street, just a couple blocks away, and i walk past it all the time. i think thats a good thing, it sort of normalizes what happened and continues to happen there.
im really proud of you, it sounds like youre doing so well with all of these things. i can literally say that i know how tough all of this can be, and i think youre doing GREAT.