My best friend Amy caught me this afternoon and asked me to help a co-worker of hers...Eddie. Eddie was telling her that the man he'd been seeing for a while had just confessed that he had been battling lymphoma off and on for the last few years. It's back, and more aggressive...and now he's facing chemo, radiation, etc. The man with the cancer told Eddie that he was giving him an "out" and that he'd understand if he didn't want to stick around. Eddie, taking a page out of my book, told the guy he would be right by his side. However, taking a page out of Jason's book, the guy is trying to push Eddie away...cutting contact with him and not letting him in. Amy wanted me to talk with Eddie about my experiences, and we met tonight to chat.
Listening to Eddie talk took me back to a year ago. It was around this time that I started seeing my counselor and began learning how to talk to and deal with cancer patients. There's a certain way you have to talk to them, offer help to them, and even console them. I'm now offering that same advice to Eddie. But, it absolutely broke my heart to sit and hear him talking about this. It was like looking at myself a year ago. I feel so horrible for him knowing what he's about to go through. I kept telling him that I wish I could tell him to run, but even knowing what I know now...I still would've been by Jason's side every step of the way...and I hope he can be there for this guy through all of his stuff.
I assured Eddie that I'd be there for him, to help him navigate through this difficult time. I feel lucky that I've made it through all of this, and am able to talk about it so openly...enough to now help someone else. Hopefully, I'll be able to use my horrible experience to help someone make the best of their experience. My advice to him already seemed to help. He seemed much more at ease about the situation...and in the time we sat there, I coached him through a couple text messages, and like my counselor helped me - the guy opened right up to Eddie like I said he would. It was a small step...but a step nonetheless. I think Eddie was a little surprised that such a small thing could make such a big difference.
I just feel so unbelievably horrible that this is happening all over again...to another couple who is being robbed of a normal relationship. I admire Eddie, though, for being willing to stick it out. I realize now how tough I am, how tough I was...to be able to break down Jason's walls in the beginning and then to hold him up in the end. In the 4 hours I spent with Eddie tonight, I know he's tough. After all, he's a Taurus...like me. We're stubborn, hard-headed bulls.
To Eddie and David - I wish them the best of luck. I wish them peace, serenity, and hope. But most of all I wish them love. They'll need the love the most. I truly believe our love is what helped keep Jason here as long as possible. I promised Eddie that I will be here for him, to listen to him, to support him, and to help him help David.
I also had a talk with Jason tonight. I told him that this was unacceptable, and he has to stop it. I told him that he needs to make sure that Eddie and David will be taken care of...because he cannot be up there and let this happen to someone else. He's an angel up there for a reason, and he must help them out. I know he can hear me...and I know he'll listen to me. He has to.
Until next time...
Stuart
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