It's Done

Yesterday at approximately 2:45pm, I stepped out of the house on Dunhaven that I was supposed to be sharing with Jason for the very last time.  As I was taking my final walk through - acting like I was checking to see if there was anything left behind - I reminisced about all the times Jason and I spent in each of those rooms.  I paused in the master bedroom for a longer moment remembering the conversations we had lying in bed - conversations no couple should ever have to have until much later in life.  I moved into the kitchen and then stopped in the dining room.  I stood on the very spot where Jason's hospital bed was...the very spot where he took his last breath.  That's when I started to cry.

A few tears fell as I took my final steps in that beautiful home.  But the full-on waterworks didn't start until Jerrod and I were standing outside and watched as the realtor locked up the house, got in his car, and then drove away.  That's when I fell apart.  I cried on Jerrods shoulder...once again mourning another loss in this horrible tragedy that just keeps on reviving itself.  Though, I think this was the last revival. 

Everything is now gone.  Jason is gone.  The house is gone.  All of his things are gone.  It's done.  All I have now are memories and a few keepsake things.  Memories are powerful things, and they're things I'll have with me for the rest of my life.  The house would've gone away eventually.  Those things inside it would've disappeared one by one anyway.  So, I should be happy that I get to hang on to the things that will last forever.  I should be happy.  But, I'm not.

Click here to see pictures of our beautiful home before it was torn apart by the move.  I'm not sure how long this link will stay active.

Until next time --
Stuart