Goodbye and Good Riddance to 2009

It's finally over.  This incredibly difficult, awful, sad year is finally drawing to a close.  I never thought it would end.  But, in the same breath, I can't believe it's actually ending so soon.  Weird...I know.
Last year at this time, I was sitting at home with Jason.  He had just gone through surgery to remove the tumor, so we had just gotten home from the hospital a few days before this and we were very much in a celebratory mood.  Because of the surgery, though, we couldn't really do much for NYE other than stay at home.  We went shopping for some appetizer items and then had a few friends over to ring in the new year.  It was a quiet affair, but a wonderful one nonetheless.  My favorite part...kissing those beautiful lips at the stroke of midnight.

That's why my heart hurts today...still 14 hours before the new year.  I won't be able to kiss that beautiful man this year at the stroke of midnight.  I won't be able to feel his arms around me as we hug and hope for good things in the coming year.  That first hug and kiss ringing in 2009 had so much hope surrounding it.  2009 was supposed to be OUR year.  It was supposed to be the year that our relationship blossomed.  It was supposed to be the year that we merged our lives into one.  It was supposed to be the year that he beat cancer.  Our relationship did blossum, but we were just a week shy of merging our lives into one before cancer beat him.  I guess one out of three is better than none.  But, it's just not fair.

2009 held a few good things, though, that shouldn't go unnoticed.  It was definitely a big award-winning year.  I won an Emmy Award, an Edward R. Murrow Award, a National Headliner Award, and a few other small ones.  We raised $11,000 for TEAM JASON and the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society becoming the #1 team in Dallas and #3 team in the state.  We're already close to $10,000 ahead of the game for 2010!  My station won it's first ever 10pm ratings period in November...which I'm extremely proud to be a part of.  It's a pretty great accomplishment when you consider where we were a year ago. 

I've met some incredible people throughout this year.  Most of them are in the cancer world, and have been a huge support to me through all of this.  A few of them, fellow widows, have become a truly amazing friends in a very short amount of time.  One of them says I was placed in her life for a reason, but I think the same can be said for her in my life.  I'm extremely thankful to have their support on this journey, and I think that's one of my greatest things of 2009.

So, as we count down to 2010 tonight, I will take a few moments to remember, but only a few moments.  New Year's Eve is all about looking forward to the year to come...not about where you've been.  I want to remember where I've been, but I also want to hold my head high and be filled with hope that 2010 is going to be the GREAT year that I deserve.  I'm turning 30 in 2010.  I hope to land a new job in 2010.  TEAM JASON will be more successful in 2010.  I'll get my passport in 2010, and finally take that trip to London I've always wanted to do.  I'm going to spend more time for ME in 2010...something I haven't done in many, many years.

My friends, I wish you all the best for 2010.  I know many of you reading this have had rough years in 2009.  But, let's rejoice together tonight...knowing that there's only good things ahead of us.  Be safe tonight in whatever you do and start 2010 off right!

I love you all.

Happy New Year --
Stuart